We never really had a Christmas on Gallifrey, though I did tell Susan about Father Christmas when she was young. She wrote a Christmas list the first year, but it was 95% questions on time-dimensional ships and how, exactly, he managed to give presents to all the good little children.
Thinking about it logically, in the modern day (we were living in the mid 20th century at the time) there are what? 2 billion or so children in the world? 15% of those children are Hindu, Jewish, Buddhist or Muslim, and therefore don't celebrate Christmas, around 9 million, so he doesn't have to worry about those. Assuming that there are around 3.5 children in each home (the .5 is for the average shorter individual or the children living in serial half-izers homes), that makes around 91.9 million homes. Excepting New York City, we can only assume that at least one or two of those children have been good and therefore should get a gift, right?
This means that Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. Which means he might be a time traveler, because he would have to have a faster-than-sound travel vehicle. Taking into account various time differences and the rotation of the Earth, and traveling east to west, he would have 31 hours to do his work. 1/1000 of a second to stop at each home, shin down the chimney, fill the stockings, eat the mince pie, shimmy back up the chimney and get the sleigh moving to the next home.
Taking the average present to be a 1 kilo Lego set, the flight's payload would be 350,000 tons, four times the weight of the QE2. Traveling at 650 miles per second the air resistance would cause the lead reindeers to absorb 14.3 quintillion Joules of energy. They'd instantly burst into flame and cause horrendous sonic booms. Santa, an overweight, middle aged humanoid, would be subjected to 17,500 times the force of gravity, pinning him to the seat with a force of 4.3 million pounds.
I was going somewhere with this. I'm not sure where. Anyway, no. No letter. If Santa is real, he was a Time Lord, and therefore is no more.
2. What are the top 10 things on your list this year?
a. New black converses
b. Orosorotating diletical plug for an OTR adapter
c. Laser Spanner, mine was stolen
d. Halo 6 for the XBOX X-TREME, and a specialized controller
e. Criterion Collection Brazil
f. Socks. Preferably fluffy.
g. This list is ridiculously long. I can't ask for immaterial things, and I have mostly everything I want...Something shiny, perhaps? And hopefully useful? Mostly shiny.
h. Shiny thing.
i. Shiny thing.
j. Shiny thing.
3. What are the three (or 1, 2, 4, 5) best presents you ever received as a child and why?
a. A telescope. My first sight of the stars up-close. I loved it, and I genuinely wish I still had it.
b. Earth and Other Underdeveloped Planets, Seventy-Fifth Ed. by Theras Majara. First glimpse into one of my favorite planets.
c. Fluffy green socks. They completely clashed with my Prydonian gowns when I went to the Academy, but they were so comfortable!
4. What are the top 5 movies you think everyone should see and why?
a. E.T. - Rather brilliant, and I know how difficult it is to find interplanetary phoning cards.
b. Die Hard XI - Spectacular action. And if you look in scene 187, I'm one of the extras that gets blown up. We weren't actually blown up, they used advanced CGI to show that, just like they used it to recreate Bruce Willis's pectoral muscles.
c. Death Ray - A piece of absolute brilliance in science fiction, completely unseen by the public.
d. Outland - I will beat my bet with Harry on this movie. Only time will show how it will out-gross Star Wars.
e. Manos: The Hand of Fate - Okay, this movie is terrible. But it's completely fantastic if you watch it with Leela after you've both had a few glasses of hypervodka.
5. Which comes first, success or happiness? Or, to think of it a different way, does happiness follow success or are you only successful when you achieve happiness? Are they even necessarily related?
I can't possibly see how they are related. No, no, I can see why other people might relate them. I, on the other hand, believe that happiness is that. Happiness. Joy, bliss. Wonder. All those great things. You can be happy and successful, but you can also be happy without being successful.
Just, I suppose, as you can be successful without being happy. One can save the day and...have it hurt later. You still won. You still did the right thing but...it...the right thing isn't always good or beautiful. But it's right, and it has to be right. That's what I believe.
Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 824