Remember, this must be in recipe form.
-2- Time Lords (slightly battered)
-1- underdeveloped planet
-1- whole, ripe rivalry
-200 g- insanity
-900 g- bitterness
-300 ml- selfishness
-500 ml- righteousness
-4- cloves of pure genius
pinch of solid hatred
sprig of destruction
-1- overused type 40 TARDIS
-800 g- loyalty
-300 g- adoration
-500 g- unrequited love
-400 ml- cleverness
1. Take Time Lords, rivalry, righteousness, insanity and bitterness and combine in pan. Slice rivalry longways and lay across the top of the mixture. Heat ingredients to boil, crumbling genius in as the mixture boils. Once boiling, reduce temperature, add selfishness and solid hatred. Let simmer for 1.2 thousand Gallifreyan years, occasionally adding more hatred to spice up the dish as it simmers.
Our chefs also suggest that you splash out for a very tragic Time War, as it brings the two Time Lords together over mutual loss and pain.
2. Prepare side while main dish cooks. Combine companions, loyalty, adoration, unrequited love with cleverness. Stir until the mixture becomes a thick paste, and then spread across underdeveloped planet. Make sure at least one companion covers the entire planet throughout the dish. Any evil plans that may drain off a Time Lord should be used in conjunction with the TARDIS.
Our chefs suggest the use of Sol: 3, also known as Earth.
3. Drain the main dish and lay in the center of the underdeveloped planet. Sprinkle more hatred and sprinkle leaves from the destruction sprig to give more flavor. By this point, one Time Lord should have absorbed all of the righteousness and will, most likely, attempt to bond or stick to the other Time Lord.
Our chefs suggest that you add a teaspoon full of loneliness to the righteous Time Lord in order to make it stick more firmly with the other.
4. The destruction leaves will melt away, leaving you with a dish of intense flavor and intrigue. Garnish with tragedy and heartbreak, and serve immediately with piping hot revenge. Excellent wines to compliment this meal are any of the heartier years of Rassilon’s Red.
Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 328