A Servant to Time and Consequence (rude_not_ginger) wrote,
A Servant to Time and Consequence
rude_not_ginger

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for fandom_muses: May Topic: Addiction

Addiction

I don't enjoy seeing people in pain.

During the War, there were a lot of Timelords who grew quite a taste for it. For seeing lesser species injured, for watching them get wiped out like pestilence. I never did.

I know you probably don't believe me right now.

The restraints on your wrists cut, but, really, they're only a precaution, so don't think you're a prisoner here, because you're not. You can leave whenever you want, but you have to really want it. I won't let you go for some detox-fueled raving fit, no, no, I know you really do want to stay here, so you don't have to worry about saying something you'll regret while you're dealing with all of this.

I was right about where you are, once. Ooooh, not the same thing, no, I've never felt the need to drown out my pain by stuffing toxins through my bloodstream, but the addiction. Oh, I understand the addiction. For me, it's always been adventure, trouble. Throwing myself in where I'm not wanted. You know, I make a New Year's resolution every time I stop off at a New Year, not to cause trouble.

Clearly I'm not very good at handling my addictions.

Your throat's parched? Do you need some water?

Right, anyway, so as I was saying. Addicted to troublemaking. Pretty much not the worst addiction one could have, but I handle it through exploration. Seeing the universe. You remember that sensation of high you got the first time I took you to a new planet? I still get that. Every planet I ever go to. And that's more than a fair few, every day. Doesn't quite hamper my addiction for adventure, but it satiates quite a bit.

No, no, it's not really the same as a chemical addiction, I imagine. I can tell by your expression you think that. S'all right. Right now you can hate me. In a couple of days, a couple of weeks, once you're no longer addicted to that...stuff you were using before, then you'll be grateful.

I'm...used to the things that I do taking a while to be recognized.

You can't have the drugs because I can't have you less than one hundred percent should something happen. We can't wait up for you if you're crumpled in a corner somewhere, Byron. If you're going to be on team TARDIS, you've got to stand with us.

I know. I know your leg. I know it hurts. Morphine won't help it, not right now. It's the detoxing, makes it harder. Makes every nerve stand on end. Vicodin? Yes, I know you have a prescription. No, you can't have it. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

How did this all start, Byron? Were you just...trying to feel something? Trying to numb something? I've been doing a bit of research---which, I know you're surprised I do, but, honestly, how do you think I get all of this information?---and those are the top reasons for drug use. That and pain. Heroin won't help for the pain. All it does is delay it. For a while.

I can't give you anything for the pain. Not yet. There's no vicodin-at-the-end-of-the-rainbow, Byron. You have to tough through it.

No. No, no, no, no. I'm not letting you go. See, you see, I told you that you'd be like this. I told you that you'd want me to let you go. I'm not. I'm not going to. You are stronger than this. I wouldn't have accepted you as my companion or given you Rose if I didn't think you were stronger than this.

Fine, all right, fine. She gave herself to you---why are you trying to argue philosophy? All right? I accepted you for Rose. I wouldn't do that if I thought you were weak.

No, no, I didn't tell her that you're in here. Didn't want her to have to see you like this. Figured you wouldn't want that, either. Aislinn's in the Zero Room. She'll be spitting furious when she wakes up and finds the door's locked.

It's all right. Crying's all right, get it out. You'll feel better after you do. Pity you? Yes, I suppose I do. I wouldn't want to be in your place today, no. S'all right. Let me get you some---

Stop! All right, stop! You're hallucinating. It's from the detox! Stop! There's no Augusta, no one's here to kill you, you're just hallucinating. Breathe, Byron, breathe. No, I can't sedate you! I won't sedate you! This isn't easy!

Fine.

It's just my fingertips, they're just touching your forehead, see? Doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt. You're fine. You're calm. The pain is easing. You're calm.

That's...it's a gift of the Timelords. Hard to explain. I don't make a habit of it, though, so...it's all right. Just sleep. Just sleep. You're safe. I'll watch over you.

I'm not going anywhere, Byron.

Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 818
Based on roleplay with the_corsair
Tags: community: fandom muses, featuring: lord byron
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