With all the love and affection that can come from a frustrated Timelord to his beloved human companion:
All right, Rose. I think the time has come for us to have this little chat. The fighting, the arguing, it's all fun and games at first, isn't it? But then we wind up in a moment like this, where one of us (or both of us) winds up exceptionally hurt.
They say the best way to pull off a conversation like this is to write a letter, so here goes. Me. Writing a letter to you.
I can no longer tolerate this situation, Rose. You're simply going to have to stop chewing gum.
Gum, yes, the gum, Rose. The constant chewing it...uuuughgh, it grates on my brain when I'm trying to work on the TARDIS, on the bits and pieces of this beloved machine! You chomp and chomp and it's squishy and...organic. Makes you look a bit like a cow chewing on cud, which is so very unbecoming of someone like you, Rose!
Can't you just...twist your hair or bite your nails or do one of those thousands of other humanly bad habits that wander through your brains?
Gum, honestly, gum!
There has to be another way!
See you in a few minutes,
Muse: the Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 214