DOCTOR: Right, everyone, calm down, please.
[more noise, they're all clearly upset]
DOCTOR: I mean it, guys---
[they're not listening]
DOCTOR: [whistles loudly]
DOCTOR: That's better. Now, I'm sorry to have to do this to you all, but I had to bring you out of your timelines for a very important reason.
DONNA: It had better be important, John-whatever-your-name-is. I was gettin' my nails done!
LUCIE: Yeah! I've still got curlers in my hair when you blipped me up here with that—that blippy thing!
DOCTOR: Blippy thing?
FITZ: Seriously. You both were at the flippin' barber's?
DONNA: [simultaneous] He's not a barber!
LUCIE: [simultaneous] It's a stylist!
ANTIMONY: But both of the names mean the same thing.
LUKE: Yeah! They're synonyms in a thesaurus.
ANTIMONY: I think they are acting very silly.
LUKE: Clyde says this is how girls are.
LUCIE: Oi! I'll show you how girls are!
SARAH-JANE: Excuse me! That's my son you're talking to!
ROSE: Right, can we focus? [calmer] Doctor, why did you bring us here?
DOCTOR: [sigh] Finally.
ROSE: Because, really if I have to stand around with all of your ex-girlfriends---
CHARLEY: [simultaneous] I beg your pardon!
MICKEY: [simultaneous] We aren't all girls, you know!
ACE: [simultaneous] I'm not his flippin' girlfriend!
ERIMEM: [simultaneous] This is all terribly ridiculous.
JACK: You know, I'm actually all right with being a girlfriend.
MICKEY: You would be.
BENNY: [whistles even louder than the Doctor, everyone goes dead quiet]
DOCTOR: Thank you. Now, we've got a very serious situation at hand.
ERIMEM: Historical issues?
ACE: Bleedin' Time Lords again?
LUCIE: Oh, god, is it the Daleks?
HEADHUNTER: What is it, then? End of the world?
DOCTOR: What are you doing here?
HEADHUNTER: I show up unexpectedly.
DOCTOR: Oh, I should've expected that.
C'RIZZ: Doctor, if it is not something as dangerous as those, why are we here?
DOCTOR: [pauses for effect] A new series.
[and pandemonium again]
BENNY: [another whistle, everyone's silent]
DOCTOR: Now, I know what you're thinking! But this is a very important series, it follows my future incarnation. And, for the sake of canonical confusion, one of my audio companions needs a trip with his new companion, Amy.
DOCTOR: No, no, Amy Pond. You're still on Gallifrey, what are you doing here?
AMY: Sorry, I thought it was all audio companions!
BEV: That's all right, love, I’m pretty sure he didn't invite me, either.
MAJENTA: I think you're all being terribly rude. After all, I wasn't even considered for this because I haven't got a voice!
EVELYN: Are you sure it isn't because you're such an unusual shade of green?
MAJENTA: Unusual? I'm not nearly as unusual as the orange of your---what is that?
EVELYN: It's a cardigan, I'll have you know---
CHARLEY: Can't you all just stop arguing and listen to the Doctor?
THE TARDIS: [grumbles irritably]
MARTHA: What's wrong with the TARDIS, Doctor?
CHARLEY: She doesn't like me, much.
DOCTOR: Hardly your fault, Charley, but can we focus, here?
ANTIMONY: I am focusing!
FITZ: Focus any harder and your eyes'll bulge.
ANTIMONY: Is there something wrong with my ocular nerves?
LUKE: They look a-okay to me!
ANTIMONY: A. O. K? Ariel Orbital Killing?
LUKE: [terribly excited to explain this] No, no! It's an expression, it means they look all right! A-okay!
ANTIMONY: I love expressions!
ROSE: Can we all just listen to the Doctor? We need to hear what he has to say!
ACE: Yeah! Go on, Doctor! We're listening.
HEX: [grumbles] I hate it when she does that. Focuses only on him.
MICKEY: Tell me about it, mate. Rose doesn't focus on much else, anymore.
HEX: Well, they ain't going to pick me, especially if a pretty bird's going to be the companion. Fancy a few rounds at the pub?
MICKEY: Yeah, that sounds brill.
[sounds of the TARDIS door opening]
DOCTOR: No, you can't---oh, they're already gone.
LUCIE: Does that mean I can leave, too?
DONNA: I'm right with blondie, here, mate. I've got a lot of things goin' on today.
DOCTOR: No one should leave, this is much too important.
PERI: Yeah, but what can we do, Doctor?
JACK: Ooooh, hello. I don't think I've met you before.
PERI: [giggles] That's all right, Doctor, I don't mind.
ERIMEM: You should, Peri. Men like him aren't to be trusted.
JACK: Oh, don't worry, there's plenty of Jack for you, too—
DOCTOR: Jack, don’t touch her there---
JACK: [cries out in pain]
DOCTOR: Oh, well, at least it'll go back to normal, soon.
LUKE: I don't really think this is going anywhere.
ANTIMONY: I think you're right.
LUKE: Want to go down to the skateboard park?
ANTIMONY: But---there might be allosaurus.
LUKE: I don't know about allosaurus, but there are lots of ally-oops.
SARAH-JANE: All right, boys, I'll drive you. By the time we get back, he might've gotten control of all of this.
[sound of the door opening]
DOCTOR: No, Sarah, don't encourage them!
[voices talking around him get louder]
BENNY: [whistles again]
IZZY: What? Is that all you have to say?
FITZ: She can't say anything else, she's on contract with a different label.
FITZ: Don't ask me to explain it.
KLEIN: If we could all just calm down and let him pick someone for this series? I really think that would be best for all parties.
DOCTOR: Klein! I left you back in Colditz! What are you doing here?
KLEIN: I am your companion, now.
DOCTOR: Don't be stupid, I don't have any reason to pick you up. Get out of here. Take that Headhunter with you!
HEADHUNTER: OOooh, bit grumpy, isn't he?
KLEIN: I noticed. I must say, though, I like your boots.
HEADHUNTER: Oh, with the sharp buckles?
KLEIN: Very devious.
HEADHUNTER: I thought so. I like the look of your sidearm.
[voices trail off, door shuts again]
LUCIE: You're not going to pick anyone any time soon, are you?
ROSE: Really keen to leave, aren't you?
LUCIE: Can't help it, I fancy my own Doctor.
ROSE: You mean…
LUCIE: Eww, not like that. He's all old. I mean that's not really my Doctor. I want to go back to m'own.
ROSE: [sigh] Oh, all right. Go borrow one of my dresses and sneak out. I don't think he'll worry if he thinks you're me leaving. He's only really focused on you lot.
LUCIE: Really, you mean it? I can go? [glee!] Brilliant!
ROSE: Yeah, but hurry up, before he sees. I've got that floral one, in blue.
MARTHA: Do you think that's really a good idea?
ROSE: Better than having her complain.
DONNA: Too right.
ROSE: You're one to talk. You two are practically identical.
DONNA: What's that supposed to mean?
ROSE: I don't mean in a bad way!
DONNA: Oi, why don't you just go stand next to love-sick over there where you belong!
CHARLEY: I’m not love-sick!
DOCTOR: This is a nightmare.
C'RIZZ: One you have, unfortunately, brought upon yourself.
[sounds of the door opening]
FROBISHER: Sorry I'm late. I brought dinner! Who wants some?
LUCIE: [walking, footsteps stop] Is that a penguin carrying a pizza?
DONNA: Yeah, I think it is.
LUCIE: Right, now I know I've seen everything.
Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 1,237
Based on some rumors that an audio companion will travel with Eleven! Yay audios!