To Whom It May Concern:
Now, I know you're getting quite a few of these letters this year (though probably not as many as last year considering the age development into the non-believing years of teenagers and the lack of writing skills in today's youths---did you notice that? I find it positively ridiculous! Also, the non-believing years are getting younger, too!---sorry, getting off topic) so I'll make this as short as possible.
Firstly, I would like to say how incredibly disappointed I was in last year's gifts from you. I distinctly wrote that I wanted a Detrahydrocorpro Meter 543C Class, and instead I got a Hydrocoro-semipro Meter 433 Class. Might as well have just given me a sock tied up to a string for all the good it would do my TARDIS! I very nearly didn't write this year, I was so disappointed! And I was so good last year, too! I saved the universe multiple times and only really managed to break two people's hearts in the process. And Martha moved on! Did you see?
So! I think this year you'll simply have to owe me. Which is good, because what I want isn't all that easy to find. I want a new B-0rg temporal transmitter, and none of your 52nd century rubbish, I want one that will actually last a few centuries before burning out. There's an exact model I want and here's a drawing and the link to the current bidding options on the local multiverse computer channels.
And here's the link.
Now, I know that this is hardly a cheap gift, so I've made a list of the reasons why you (the gift giving father of Christmas) should give me (the do-gooding Doctor of everything) this gift (the B-0rg temporal transmitter preferably in green).
1) The aforementioned pathetic gift last year needs making up.
2) Saved the universe.
3) Kept the TARDIS in generally good upkeep (even without a Detrahydrocorpro Meter 543 C Class that would've kept her temperatures at a reasonable level)
5) Saved the universe
6) Cleaned my room every week
7) Argued minimally with Donna
8) Did I mention I saved the universe? That should be worth a few points in my favor, I think!
So! That's eight to me and what have you got? You still have a -1 for that bad gift last year! I think I've proven my point! So, here's a copy of my current PO Box Address. Don't bother with Christmas Delivery, I never manage to make it back in time for Christmas, but you can leave it there and I'll pick it up after the Byzantine New Year.
Oh! And Happy Christmas! Tell Dasher I'm not still sore after that whole reindeer-games business.
Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 481