Well, one of them.
I'm not here, I'm probably there, so leave me a message.
Wait, wait, wait. If I'm there, as in there with you, then don't. Don't because you can just tell me. And don't leave a message if I'm right around the corner. I really only check this every fifty years or so, so it's likely you can just tell me the next time you see me. Or you could write me a letter! I love letters. Some letters. Occasional letters!
And you know you can always---