A Servant to Time and Consequence (rude_not_ginger) wrote,
A Servant to Time and Consequence

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for realmof_themuse: 1.90.1.D I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe...

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown. -Woody Allen


Briiiiiing. Briiiiiiiiiing.


"Hello, Martha, is that you?"

"Who else would it be? It's my mobile phone, Doctor."

"Oh, right."

"I said I would call you. Bit of space and all that?"

"Yeah, look, I know that. I need your help."

"Now's not exactly a good time."

"I'm lost."


"I'm lost."

"Yeah, so…what else is new? Don't you enjoy getting lost?"

"Yes, but not where I am."

"Where are you?"

"Now, if I knew that I wouldn't be calling you, would I?"

"What do you want me to do?"

"You've got the internet, haven't you?"

"I'm not just a computer you can dial up, Doctor."

"Martha, please."

"What would I do with the internet? I can't possibly just find you."

"No, but you could use…I don't know. What year is it? Google Earth. Figure out where I am."

"I'm kind of in the middle of something."

"Martha? Who is that?"

"Who's that?"



"Is that Jack?"


"Is that the Doctor?"

"Why are you with Jack?"

"Look, Doctor, now isn't the time."

"It's past midnight on a Saturday. Shouldn't he be out with some conquest or something?"

"He decided to stay in."

"With you?"

"Yes, with me. Is there something wrong with him staying in with me?"

"No, Martha. No, there isn't. I just…you know. Didn't peg you for conquest material."

"What did you just call me?"

"Ask him what he's wearing."

"Did he just tell you to ask me what I’m wearing?"

"No, he didn't. And no, I'm not asking him that! Shhh!"

"I bet he's wearing that blue suit. I like it. Very sharp."

"Tell him I've got on the red tie he likes, too."

"Fine! Fine! I'm moving into the other room with the computer! Are you happy?"


"Uuuuuuugh. You two drive me mad."

"Yes, yes, yes. Now. I'm at 8th. No. 9th. Wait. Wait. Okay. 11th."

"What, are the street signs changing?"

"No, I just keep passing new ones."

"There he is!"



"Are you running right now?"


"What from?"



"You know, business as usual."

"And you honestly expect me to be able to find you while you're ducking around buildings while running from coppers?"

"Well, I just passed another convenience store. I think I'm running along…H Street."

"Fine, fine. I'm looking."



"Little faster, please."

"Can't make it move any faster, Doctor! The little earth on the corner is spinning around. Here we go. You're H and 11th?"

"No, now I'm on F and 11th. Had to make a turn, they had cars blocking that road."

"What did you do?"

"Doesn't matter, I'm turning onto F. Where am I?"

"You're…in Chinatown. Washington DC, in America."

"Well, that explains why people told me was near the Capitol. I just got confused."

"Now you know where you are, can I go?"


"Excuse me?"

"Sorry, that wasn't for you, that was for the badger."

"The what?"

"Right, so I parked the TARDIS near this fountain near the Capitol. It can't be too far, can you direct me?"


"Martha, please?"

"Martha, is he done?"

"I'll start talking about my undergarments with Jack if you don't."

"Jack, I'll be back in a mo'."

"Right. Direct me."

"Go down D street."

"D street. Right. Uh, turning…?"

"I don't know! Wait. You're going to need to turn left."

"Turning left. Now what?"

"You run."

"S'that it?"

"It should take you to the fountain."

"Oh! Okay!"



"I'm going back to bed now."

"Right, have fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"But then I wouldn't do anything, would I?"

"See? There's a good girl."

"Don't drop your badger, Doctor."



Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 612
Tags: community: realm of the muse, featuring: captain jack harkness, featuring: martha jones
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