After all, it really was her fault.
He couldn't blame Koschei for finding the human woman's "materials" through some form of digital splicing or what-have-you from research taken off of Sol 3, and he couldn't really blame the Academy for being so thick as to not realize what they had found. They were boys and searching for things they didn't understand like sexuality was to be expected, right?
The album was called Erotica, and to two twenty-year-old Gallifreyans with little to no sexual experience, it was positively brilliant.
The songs were confusing enough, with enough human colloquialisms and slang to muck up any translators they tried to use. The way the woman's voice spoke of sexuality and relationships, it was like it was commonplace, which was absurd. The whole album was lewd, and there were scans of a book called "SEX", which made the two of them tilt their heads and gape.
And, apparently, there were videos made with the songs specifically to highlight the sexuality in the songs. Or perhaps highlight the song itself? The concept was, again, confusing. It appeared everyone from Sol 3 was confusing. Theta Sigma found the confusing nature fascinating. Koschei found the primitive nature behind them fascinating. Well, at least they were both finding something equally fascinating. Sure, it was a "music video" made by a woman who called herself Madonna, but it was something they could share, at least.
While Koschei seemed ultimately interested with the writhing bodies and the sexual power they held over each other (there was a whole thing about pain, and that seemed to open up doors inside Koschei's mind), Theta was far more fascinated in her. This Madonna woman. Not particularly beautiful by any stretch of the imagination, but there was something undeniably attractive in the way she moved, the way her mouth formed English words, and the way her hair spilled out over her shoulders.
It was unnaturally blonde to say the least, but the light-colored strands falling against each other, tangling as she moved and still forming a blanket of light over her head…it was…what was the slang word? Sexy. Upon the eighteenth or so viewing of the video---Koschei's insistence, for research---he decided he infinitely preferred the scenes where her hair was loose and flowing. She looked wild, and the tactile part of his brain desperately wanted to touch her hair.
When Koschei returned several nights later with more material from varying sexual artists---Bjork and Lindsay Lohan and someone called Bettie Page---Theta had already discovered Marylin Monroe and Jean Harlow and Lana Turner. He did admit he thought Koschei's choice of Jenna Jameson wasn't too terrible, if not for her clearly surgically enlarged body parts.
"You have a fetish for blondes, you know." Koschei said the words as if he had any idea what he was saying. "Fetish" was another one of those human colloquialisms that they were trying to pepper into their vocabulary in order to frustrate Professor Borusa. 'Talking like primitives' he'd say to them. Rebels to the end and all that.
Theta looked at the Sol 3 material that he'd brought and at what Koschei held. The only definite difference Theta could see was the hair color. He could state easily that the other women were lovely (except maybe for the whips and chains); they just…weren't as initially appealing as the ones with the yellow hair.
And, after taking a look inside a dictionary of Sol 3 colloquialisms, Theta decided it wasn't really a fetish, it was just a preference.
Larasetterrasseru Sigma looked almost exactly like Madonna. Theta had commented on it several times, and Koschei had taken to whistling "Like a Virgin" every time she passed by them in the halls. Ushas informed them that she fancied Theta Sigma (the idea was positively absurd to Ushas). Her long blonde hair was always tied tightly behind her neck, but she wasn't terribly unattractive. She was also somewhat foolish, which made her completely unique to her peers, and that made Theta find her interesting.
"You should have sex with her," Ushas said over lunch. Both Theta and Koschei all but snorted their drinks across the table at her.
She raised a delicately plucked eyebrow. "It's only logical. None of us has the experience or the opportunity except for you. You should experiment and tell me about what you learn."
The reason that Theta was not even remotely sexually interested in Ushas had very little to do with her ginger hair color.
All the same, he asked Larasetterrasseru to one of the formal events. She stumbled into a wall before saying yes.
While everyone else wore the tight and uncomfortable robes of a Time Lord as most of the women attending the formal events did, Larasetterrasseru arrived at the Prydonian doors in a green silk dress, her long hair curled and loose about her shoulders. He stood there in his black suit, stunned by her. She was beautiful. The simple, elegant dress and her loose yellow hair.
"Ushas told me your favorite planet is Sol 3," she said to his gaping. "Earth. They have…a different dress style. I rather like it, actually."
Coyly, she led him to one of the secluded libraries and shut the door. Her slender fingers slid down her throat and twisted around one of her blonde curls.
"She also told me you saw those things by that Mad-ooh-nay."
He hadn't realized it, but he'd stepped significantly closer to her. He could actually smell her hair. Clean, like Backsah soap.
"You heard about her?"
She smoothed the front of his suit. "Oh, Theta, everyone saw that. You know how Time Lords are so very gossipy. Especially in the house dormitories."
She touched him, so he returned the favor, sliding his fingers into her hair. It was fascinating, watching them slide through his fingertips. The way the light hit the strands, the way they changed as he moved them. She sighed at his motion in a way that was a little too high-pitched and breathy to have possibly been real. She was probably mimicking Madonna on those videos. Which was all right. She mimicked quite well.
Slowly, warily, he lowered his mouth to press to hers. The kiss was ridiculously chaste, and so completely foreign a concept to both of them that it was equally silly and euphoric.
After said kiss, they both straightened and looked at each other awkwardly. Two beings to whom sexuality did not come naturally nor did it set well with their biology trying something new like snogging.
"So, what do we do next?" she asked, no longer the seductress she was pretending to be, and back to the awkward Larasetterrasseru (he really should remember to shorten her name to Lara in his mind) he originally fancied.
"Skip the fancy party and watch the stars by the West Hall?" Theta offered.
"Don't be silly," she said, shaking her head. Her hair was quite lovely, loose curls moving about. Her hand moved down to his, and their fingers twined. It was another foreign but intimate gesture that he found himself returning. He liked that. The intimacy of it. Even if she was taking him back to the life he hated rather than the stars he desired.
As they moved towards the hall with the formal dinner, she turned to him again. "Do you like how I did my hair?" she asked, suddenly.
He blinked. "What?"
"Koschei said you have a fetish for blondes," she replied. "I...don't actually know what 'fetish' means, but he implied it means you fancy women with yellow hair."
"It's a preference," he grumbled. "Not a fetish."
He slipped from his memory and looked over to Rose, who sat next to him at the SpacePort Diner. "Hmm?"
She looked at her shoulder, where his finger had a lock of her hair curled around it. It really was just a preference. Far from a fetish.
"Madonna," he said, by way of explanation.
Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 1,327
Made especially for the lovely and amazing ambitious_woman, because we both decided there was a reason for all this blonde fetishness!