Dear [Insert name of Jack's current boyfriend/girlfriend here],
I'm really very sorry for what happened at the Christmas Party at the Torchwood Hub this year. As in years past, I found myself overindulging in the rum and things went a wee bit too far, as I'm quite sure [Possible Witness One] and [Possible Witness Two] have already told you.
Now, Jack and I have been friends for a very long time now, and as with most friendships that evolve over that time, imbibing too much alcohol can skew one's perception of friendship. That being said, I can only apologize again and say that I didn't know he had a significant other at the time and if I did I'm pretty sure what happened probably still would have but I would've felt a good deal more bad about it at the time. Also, Jack started it.
I hope you have a happy New Year and before you get any bright ideas on "coming and getting" me, please remember what [Possible Witness One] might say about that. That, and Torchwood wants me alive. I save the world too much.
PS: And, also, very sorry about the stain on your [Insert garment here]. We needed something to clean up with.
Muse: The Doctor (Ten)
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